hey WC, i have a question. I’ve been dating a girl for a while (5 months) who dates lots of guys. I know I’m not the only one. She’s playing me hot and cold. What do I do?
Dump her.
Well, no, not literally. However, do keep in mind that girls who play the field to excess- especially ones that date different guys on a consistent basis (like dating 5 guys for 5 months solid- dating them one day each week or some crap like that) is indicative of trouble. In the most basic sense, it indicates potential neediness, indecisiveness, or good old whore-y characteristics. On a much deeper level, girls who date obsessively can have some serious isues (even if indecisiveness and neediness aren’t considered that)- family issues, an obsession with getting pregnant (a very scary reality- some girls are like this to the point of near nymphomania), or any variety of other problems.
Don’t get me wrong- much like you should try dating more than one girl at the same time, it’s entirely reasonable for her not to date just you. However (this is a big however), when she does it for a long period of time with no commitment, it’s time for you to man up and basically “dump” her rear. Of course, you don’t have to do this with much drama- give her one good last shot (take her on a good date, make it pretty clear you want a long term relationship) and see how it goes. If she still balks, replace her, or just use her as a booty call or something.
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I would reckon you are into er partly because she plays that game, and is, therefore, game.
Stop being a guy who’ll wait for her, play the same game, and she may just go to you.
her*
I would agree about playing the same game, if you’re interested in other girls then also date them. If you’re not… I wouldn’t date them just to make her jealous, but you might want to think about broadening your horizons a bit.