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Let’s talk butts. Let’s talk man butts. Now we all know there are many different kinds of butts out there. Some of us pay attention to what’s going on behind, while some of us may not. We can’t really get into what makes a great man butt and what doesn’t, since I think we would all agree that’s a preference and not a general fact. However, we can get into the ‘dos and don’ts’ to dress your best to always impress and show off what you do or don’t ‘got.’ We’ll start in height order, like they use to do for lineup in elementary school, and start from smallest to biggest.

First up, The Flat Butt.

When you’ve got a flat butt, that sometimes has the illusion that it may be introverted, better not wear those tight-tight skinny jeans. When you’ve got skinny legs, great, lots of us are into that, wear tight jeans, wear skinny jeans, but have some portion control. When the jeans go tight-tight all the way up and suddenly your behind looks like an empty tote bag, probably you should leave a little to the imagination. Loosening up the pant leg will loosen up the impression. And believe me, everybody likes to use their imagination.

A Simply Small Butt

This breed is a sort of challenge, not in the pants department, but more so in the isle of advice. Small butts don’t really get much of a rep since they’re often hard to notice. While tight jeans may work, consider the advice given above, in the ‘Flat Butt’ section, to make sure you’re pant cut is not creating the illusion of the ‘introverted’ behind, otherwise you pretty much have the green light to wear your preference.

The Bubble Butt

Don’t be thrown off, or put down by the name, I mean this in no way, shape, or form, to degrade contestant number three. The bubble butt is not a butt to shield in shame. The best fit and cut for this butt is actually a fitted cargo pant or shorts. Tight jeans could look good but it could also be a bit of a risk. If you find you have shapely legs then go for it, but if you find yourself stepping at the center of your pants from the edge of your bed to pull off and out and free your leg, one leg at a time, most likely, you should have bought the next size up. Showing off your shape just may be the right move for you, sir.

A Generously padded Butt

From this point onward, were really narrowing down our options. If you find yourself questioning whether you belong in the third row or the fourth row, feel free to place yourself wherever you feel most confident. When it comes to style, it’s always important to dress yourself in what makes you feel most sanguine. If however, you find yourself confidently standing in the back row, well now we have something to talk about. First off, comfort really works for you. The right pair of those thick, fitted black or grey sweatpants almost always looks good on you. If you have a relatively small or fit waist then go for those fitted cargos, or thick Jean pant material. However, if you can be honest with yourself, and face that drooping belly that you’ve let loose from too many IPA’s, and hangover cheese fries, better not find a way to exaggerate what you, well, shouldn’t.

Don’t be ashamed to ask a friend how you’re looking from behind, but better make sure you ask someone who could give tasteful and tactful fashion advice and not someone who dresses like they haven’t left their reclining sofa chair, if you know what I mean.

Tags: athletic butt, butt, butt fashion