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The best thing to do on a first date is to talk. Conversation will help to reveal who you are and to connect with each other. However, it’s very easy for a conversation to go wrong or fizzle. Follow these rules to ensure positive dialogue and a second date.

1. Avoid Charged Topics

Avoid topics that are very emotionally charged, such as politics or past relationships. An exception is if you or your date won’t get involved with someone of a certain political ideology, relationship history, religious belief, or personal issue. You might as well get those out in the open if they are deal breakers for either of you. If you have no strong opinion on politics or religion, they can lead to a lively exchange of ideas. However, the safest route is to save those topics for later.

2. Don’t Dominate the Conversation

Women like to talk and be heard, and depending on their circumstances, they may not get to as much as they’d like. Be courteous and focus on your date. That doesn’t mean you should grill her, but just allow her to speak without interruption. When she asks you questions, answer them, but don’t go on and on yapping about yourself. If that’s what she does, give her the benefit of the doubt. She may just be nervous. Trust your instincts in deciding if that’s the case or if she’s truly self-centered.

3. Listen Attentively

Just because your date is talking doesn’t necessarily mean you’re listening. Women are better than men at reading body language and can tell when you’re faking, distracted, or bored. Maintain eye contact and be expressive in your responses instead of just nodding or grunting. Ask follow-up questions that show you’re paying attention and want to learn more. She will feel heard and valued.

4. Keep It Clean

Unless you know for sure your date has a taste for profanity and crude humor, it’s best to keep it clean on the first date. Show that you can be gentlemanly in your language. Don’t make any sexist jokes or comments either. A woman doesn’t have to identify as a feminist to get offended by sexism.

5. Keep It Fun

It’s easy to stick to predictable, boring topics or suppress your personality due to nerves or insecurity. Just relax! Be friendly and ask creative questions. Engage in playful banter and share funny personal stories (keeping in mind the fourth rule). Remember to smile and laugh. Soon you’ll both be feeling comfortable and connected, and next thing you know, you’ll be on date number two.

Tags: conversation, first date, first date conversation, talking