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Every relationship has its ups and downs, but sometimes in the midst of those down spots it’s easy to wonder if things will ever get good again. Here are some key considerations that can point to the fact that things are bound to bounce back…or that they might not.

It’s Fun

No relationship is going to be fun 24/7 365, but overall that should be an aspect of the bond. If the relationship is just never fun, then it’s going to be downright terrible in the more challenging moments. If your relationship has elements of adventure and playfulness and is all around enjoyable a lot of the time, then there’s something to look forward to on the other side of the challenges. That bond isn’t generally broken too easily.

There is Trust

People in long term relationships that last tend to make decisions that support both people in the relationship, not just for the self. That means that hiding things generally doesn’t support the relationship, whether that has to do with money, feelings, or other people. Relationships full of secrets are relationships full of holes. Trust means being honest even when things aren’t perfect.

There is Affection

Couples that make it tend to show their affection through touching, hugging, and kissing, even when things get tough. When the touch isn’t there it can be hard to feel connected…because perhaps you aren’t. If your relationship remains intimate even when things are complicated, that’s a good sign you’re both dedicated to making it work. This also includes sex of course, but sex can occur without intimacy as well, so it’s finding a balance between all of that to work for both people.

There is Teamwork

Romantic relationships really are teams, so the sense of partnership has to be respected and honored as the relationship grows and deepens over time. Both people have to feel heard, and respected, and wanted to feel like they belong. This means when it comes to making decisions both people need to weigh in on the process even if the balance ebbs and flows. Where there is discord both people have to come forward to meet it and make changes. Otherwise trouble or challenge can be seen as a third party outside of the relationship, when actually it is just something that belongs to both people.

There is Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not saying “I’m sorry” and then holding a grudge and punishing someone for the rest of their life, it means letting things go so that stop poising a relationship. Communication is of course necessary to even get to the point of forgiveness, since it needs to be worked out what went wrong and how it can be avoided in the future. But beyond that holding onto any bad thoughts is only going to cause more problems. The more you can explain how you feel, the better chance the other person has of fixing things or changing your perspective. People who have an easier time letting thing go and moving on end up being happier people, in happier relationships.

Tags: affection, forgiveness, relationships, teamwork, trust