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More and more often I find myself asking people, “But what is it that you really want?” And what follows is a long moment of silence.

At first I thought this uncertainty could be divided across genders. Men know what they want more often than women do, but then I discovered that generalization to be totally false.

It seems that people in general don’t know what they want in life. This could greatly explain the cliché, “Money doesn’t bring you happiness.” Too many people believe that if they just had x amount of money then they would be happy, and more often than not, we find that statement to be thoroughly deceptive.

Research proposes that actually our conscious minds rationalize our decisions more than taking charge of the decisions we make.  Essentially the problem comes down to one simple explanation, its not that people don’t know what they want, but rather, they have very little sense of whom they truly are. 

I would argue that knowing what you want is synonymous with knowing who you are.

So, what’s the solution?

People don’t really take the time to figure out who they are and what they want. Rather, they leave it to society, or situations to make those decisions for them until boom! They are 55 years old, dump their wife and buy a red Ferrari that comes with a 20 year old babe.  

Okay, maybe not that extreme, or that cliché, but hey cliché’s exist for a reason, they tend to hold more truth than we would like to acknowledge.

So, here’s some very great advice for you, New Years or not, take some time to reflect. Reflect on the direction your life has been steered in, if your satisfied with the decisions you’ve made, and what it is that you are really looking for.

It could be anywhere from love, to traveling more, to creating a proactive exercise routine. Whatever it is, that’s up to you to figure out.

Take a pause, and use this time to figure out who you really are and what you really want, not who other people think you are, or think you should be like. Reflect and write it out. It will help to confront these self-perceptions and desires in a concrete material way.

Believe me, its worth the time.  

Tags: knowing yourself, who am i