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It’s happened to all of us, well, at least most of us. You would think that once you’ve grown out of your teenage acne and awkwardness you’d have mastered ‘The Game.’ Well, while you may have mastered the business field, the basketball courts, or whatever it is that you are good at, perhaps you still find yourself wondering what it is that you’re doing wrong to always end up in the friend zone.

First of all, figure out if she’s actually interested in taking your relationship to the next level or not. One reliable sign is if she accepts, let’s say, 80% of your invitations to meet up for a drink, a meal, a walk, a Ping-Pong match, or whatever it is the two of you do as a pastime. I mean, it doesn’t even really have to be as high as an 80% acceptance rate; some of us are busy bodies who have impossible time management skills, but at least we’re getting off to a good start.

Next sign, how touchy is she? How often do you find her hand on your arm? Did she just have to get that piece of thread out of your beard? These are all positive signs. If you find her head on your shoulder at the end of the night, and she uses the following excuses: 1. She’s tired. 2. She drank too much. 3. She works too much. 4. She danced too much, etc. etc., chances are she’s resting her head on your shoulder beyond comfort’s sake.

How often does she smile in your presence? No one is asking you to take out a pad and paper and start tallying down the smiles and giggles you got out of her, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to pay attention to her giggle rate. Another insider’s tip: pay attention to her expression in the first moments of your meet up. Some of us can’t hide our excitement when we see someone we like.

Here’s where the real challenge comes in. Okay the signs are all there, or mostly there, or potentially there, now what? It’s quite simple. Say something. Really. That’s all it takes. As frightening as confrontation is, I can confidently say, most girls are not afraid of it. On the contrary, most girls find it exceptionally attractive when guys are straight forward and honest. I know, I know, you’ve heard that so many times from your mother or grandmother, but hey, three generations later, some truths just don’t dissipate. You really have nothing to lose. In the case of rejection, you now have the freedom and pass to move on, congratulations. In case of acceptance, well we prefer you keep that mushy stuff to yourself, while some of us are still the search and late night bar cruise.

Tags: Dating, friend zone, friendzone