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Many guys plan Valentine’s Day around dinner, a movie, and sex. While some women are content with that, others desire a more personalized experience. In order to create the perfect evening, you need to know what makes your girlfriend feel loved.

The book The Five Love Languages, by Dr. Gary Chapman, reveals five methods of showing and feeling love: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Find out which love language is hers, and you’ll have an idea of how to make the holiday special. Here are some Valentine’s Day date ideas for each category to get you started.

Quality Time

Quality time is more than just spending time together. It’s giving your full attention and having meaningful interaction and conversation. Have your date somewhere that promotes quality time, such as an art exhibit or food tour. If you decide to dine, choose an upscale restaurant that invites intimate conversation, instead of a casual place with distracting TVs and loud background noise.

If you stay at home, cook a meal together and play games rather than watching a movie. You could also ask your girlfriend to teach you about a hobby she enjoys. She’ll be excited you’re taking interest in something important to her.

Words of Affirmation

Words of affirmation are verbal or written expressions of admiration and appreciation. They can be compliments or notes. During your date, share things you love about each other. Make it more memorable by writing them down first, giving them to each other, and then taking turns reading them aloud.

Be as specific as possible; women don’t like clichés or flattery. Although women want to feel beautiful, they also want to be feel loved for who they are, so don’t just praise outward appearance. Mention particulars about her personality, intellect, and talents, too.

Gifts

It may not seem as if you can have a date centered on gifts without it feeling like Christmas, but you can. Take your girlfriend shopping, in store or online. This way it’s guaranteed she’ll like her gifts! Another option is to choose a store, time limit, and price range, and shop for each other separately. When the time is up, regroup and exchange your gifts.

Acts of Service

Find out where your girlfriend needs assistance. If there’s a project she’s been working on, such as organizing or painting a room, help her finish it. If there’s a major errand she’s been meaning to run, take her to get it done. Sometimes practical things can be very romantic to a woman.

Physical Touch

When it comes to physical touch, think outside the bedroom. Do a nonsexual activity that requires touching. You can go dancing, play a sport, get massages together, or cuddle on the couch while watching a movie or talking. If you go on a regular date, hold your girlfriend’s hand, put your arm around her, or play with her hair.

Make this Valentine’s Day stand out by tailoring your plans to your girlfriend’s likes and emotional needs. She will love you all the more for it.

Tags: acts of service, Dating, Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman, gifts, physical touch, quality time, valentine's day, words of affirmation