Wellcultured - A men's fashion, fitness, sex, and lifestyle magazine.

According to Audrey Andelin, author of Man of Velvet and Steel, every woman’s dream man must have a combination of steel-like masculine qualities wrapped with a gentle touch of velvety soft qualities. In principle, a man’s steel qualities such as his robust physical features, aggressive mental drive, and emotional control provide a woman with a sense of security and emotional and physical protection that she desires. However, if these hard steel-like masculine qualities are in excess and are not softened by velvet qualities such as gentleness, understanding, and sensitivity to woman’s more fragile emotional and physical nature, a man will be unable to hold onto a woman’s heart and win her unrelenting devotion.

Many men have also wondered more specifically how to please to their woman and how to keep her happy. Andelin sought to answer these age-old questions. He goes on to highlight seven key needs that feminine woman crave from their dream man.

• A man who loves and cherishes her

Similar to a man’s need for respect, women crave the feeling of being loved, cherished, and adored. The more feminine-natured a woman is the stronger this craving will be. Let her know how precious she is to you in words and in action.

• A man who will be her “master”

The word “husbandry” originates with the concept of ownership. This concept does not imply that women should merely be viewed as property or that a woman should be held in less esteem than a man. On the contrary, the concept of husbandry implies that it is a husband’s responsibility to care for and protect his wife as though she is a precious treasure. Feminine women, especially, want the man whom they love to claim them and to take possession of them in the sense that the man is claiming responsibility for her care and protection. This desire is rooted in the feminine desire for shelter and protection from a man, who truly values and cherishes her.

• A man who will be her voice in important matters

Of course, women have a voice of their own and wish to voice their feelings and opinions. However, many feminine women struggle to be assertive in voicing their needs and feelings to world. In this regard, a man’s assertiveness in speaking up for her can be highly appreciated, and it shows her your sincere concern for her wellbeing. As a word of caution, being her voice does not imply that you should assert your opinions over hers. Rather, being her voice implies speaking up on her behalf in support of her feelings.

• A man who will give her sympathy when she suffers

Women appreciate it when men are sensitive to their experiences both past and present. For example, if she has had a difficult day, she may unexpectedly bombard you with complaints, great or small. She may also periodically bring up events in the past that have caused her to suffer emotionally. She may retell the same stories or display the same cycle of emotions fluctuating between positive and bright to negative and gloomy. In either situation, women, most of all, just want a listening ear and your consoling words of empathy. Think of it as she is seeking you for you to become her emotional shield. Naturally, you cannot protect her or prevent her from experiencing all negative emotions or negative experiences in life. However, you can soften her pain through your gentle consolation. This velvet quality contributes to fulfilling her need for security.

• A man who shows her appreciation

Acknowledge the things she does for you. It’s that simple. Simple acts and words of gratitude are so meaningful to women and will deepen her feelings for you.

• A man who acknowledges that her domestic work is important and valued

Modern society, and sadly, more females than males criticize traditional female roles in the family and in relationships. Therefore, if you appreciate your woman’s dedication to domestic work such as preparing meals, home decorating, and other forms of housework. Encourage her in this work through compliments and thoughtful acts showing your gratitude for the work that she does around the home and for you as your woman.

• A man who allows her personal freedom

Although any loving woman will long to spend most of her time with you, she will still want time for herself. She may wish for time to pamper herself, spend time with friends, or do community service work. In any case, not allowing her freedom to have her own hobbies will strike her as overly-possessive. Possessive behavior to the extent that it makes a woman feels as though she does not have a life outside of you can make her feel suffocated and ultimately unhappy. Women are naturally givers and tend to neglect their own needs at the expense of others. Therefore, if she is self-aware enough to realize her need to take care of herself also and you do not permit her to do so, she will slowly begin to resent you. Allowing her personal freedom in the relationship shows her that you trust her and that you acknowledge her need to take care for herself, too. In response, she will appreciate you all the more for being understanding and sensitive to her needs.

Tags: Dating, Man of Velvet and Steel